Yesterday, a colleague asked me what I liked least about America.
“The fact that almost everyone in America owns a gun.”
It came out of my mouth so easily. No pause, no thinking about it. Of course, “almost everyone” was how it felt to me, not an accurate count. What I was trying to explain was how uneasy I feel about guns and the news that so often surrounds them.
Then this morning, I found out about the shooting at an elementary school in Bend, Oregon, on October 15. According to police, a sixteen-year-old opened fire at the school before an armed bystander shot and killed him.
What shocked me was realizing that while I was having that conversation yesterday, a school was already under attack. I just didn’t know it yet.
I was talking about something that frightened me. Somewhere else, children and teachers were actually living through it. Finding that out this morning made yesterday’s conversation feel very different.
I kept thinking about how young sixteen really is. And then about the children inside that school, who had simply gone there for another ordinary day.
The news brought back the 2023 case in Virginia, when a six-year-old brought a gun to school and shot his teacher, Abigail Zwerner.
Six years old. I still find that difficult to take in.
Every time I hear something like this, my mind starts racing. Should we not take our children to school anymore? But then, what are we supposed to do? Keep them beside us all day? How do you give children room to grow when a story like this makes you want to hold them close?
I know a frightening headline doesn’t mean something terrible will happen everywhere. But in those first moments after reading it, it’s difficult to separate what I know from what I feel.
I think about the parents who packed a lunch or said, “See you later,” without imagining that the day could end differently. Such ordinary little things, and suddenly they feel so precious.
That’s when I find myself praying. For the children, for their teachers, for the families living through it. When I don’t know what to do with all those thoughts, I take them to God.
Yesterday, my answer came easily. This morning, after reading the news, I’m still sitting with it.
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